Grief (Be More Freddie!)
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Christmas 2024 was horrible. Our middle dog, Freddie, had a blockage in his tummy and on Christmas Day we made the decision to take him to an emergency vet. He was given anti nausea medicine and we took him home with instructions on how to get nutrients and liquid into him. About 6 months previously a similar thing had happened and after a brief stay at the vets to put him on fluids, he came home the perky chap he always was. So when this happened at Christmas we were worried about him but confident he would make a full recovery. The next morning he was no better and very lethargic so we took him back to the emergency vets (who were brilliant, by the way). We left Freddie at the vets to have fluids administered and to be monitored. After an x-ray the vets told us they could see some sort of blockage and recommended surgery. We agreed and after building up his fluid levels the surgery went ahead late on Boxing Day. I stayed up until the early hours of the morning feeling awful and worried. We were told there was a chance he wouldn't make it. The surgery was over 3 hours long and they had to remove a section of intestine where the tissue had died. The call came from the vets at 1am - he had made it through surgery.Wonderful news but we were warned that the stomach was a difficult place to operate in due to all the bacteria etc. The next day I collected him early from the emergency vets and took him to our vets. At this stage we were expecting him to perk up and become his usual self and looked forward to collecting him later that day. No call from the vets came at lunchtime, an alarm bell already ringing in my head. The vets called at 4.30pm and we put the phone on speaker. The vet explained Freddie was not recovering as hoped. They had taken a sample of fluids in his abdomen and bacteria was found. Suddenly the word 'options' was mentioned and my stomach churned. We got in the car and drove to the vets, knowing we might have to make an impossible decision and wondering how this happened so quickly. The vets were amazing - professional, gentle, friendly. The'options' were for Freddie to go to an animal hospital and go through the same intense surgery, which had no guarantees as to the outcome, or to consider the unthinkable and end Freddie's suffering. Seeing Freddie in so much pain and so miserable was heartbreaking. We made our decision and were with him as he passed - talking, cuddling and kissing him to the last.
Three weeks later and we are still reeling.
I wanted to write this post though to reflect on a few things. Losing Freddie has made me appreciate anew my relationship with my two other dogs and just how quickly things can change. Dogs have such a short life, with very little that they are in control of. I feel more strongly now than ever before we need to give them as good a life as possible and make everyday count. I am remembering Freddie for all the joyful things - a tail that never stopped, turning around on a walk as if to say 'this is brilliant', sitting on the sofa next to me and leaning his head in towards me for kisses.
The picture here is one of my favourite - the white fur on the back of his feet, the thoughts he must have been having about adventures beyond the gate.
Thank you Freddie for being part of our family. We love and miss you.
A final word to take with me and a great Motto for life - 'Be More Freddie!'
